once upon a time i said this letter would come out every sunday. although that was three months ago, it’s a sunday and the universe led me back to this space via the scenic route.
in the draft of my first letter, i talked about this feeling of gratitude that was almost too big to describe. i couldn’t describe it because, for this first time in my adult life, i could return to joy in a way that once seemed to elude me. simply, i was experiencing what it was like to feel well.
the period between this letter and the last has been a daily trial run of returning to joy. much like an american ninja warrior comeback arc, i’ve been reappraoching the same challenges in new ways, still falling into the water here and there, but always returning (and eventually scaling that wall in record time!) there are many concrete actions i can attribute to this: taking care of my body, a consistent sleep schedule, daily meditation and qi gong, reiterating boundaries. but these actions all support the core mission of self-management through spiritual process. it’s that process that keeps me accountable to regulating my mind/body/spirit, that grounds me in reality, that demands awareness, that calls for playfulness in all actions, that connects me to ancestor, that allows me to embody the responsibility to myself and others (aka all life). and it’s like, of course joy follows. it’s a lot of active work, don’t get me wrong. and it’s a reminder that one of the many oppressive aspects of modern american life is how it robs of us of space to be well.
✿✿✿
every few months, i naturally feel called to do tarot pulls. this usually happens when i’ve completed a spiritual/life lesson and it’s time for the next. i assign myself a few prompts that will guide the period and keep me focused. for this current cycle, my third prompt is mantra: pull a card that will ground you this cycle. i pulled the hierophant (upright) and, honestly, did not know what to do with it at first. it was february, pisces season had thrown me off a lot, and i was much more interested in my other two pulls because i felt i could easily see how they showed up in my life. but the universe, as it often does, it nudged me towards a deepening of the spiritual process by way of the hierophant. and recommitting to the spiritual process greatly informed and provided needed guidance for my other pulls (the emperor for the prompt what hidden strength am i overlooking? and two of cups for the prompt what quality do i need to hone in on?) with this recommitment, i can rest in reality, every moment a chance to try again.
i always feel called to write about this because i’m always in awe of the spiritual process. i’m in awe of how long histories of different pathways of spiritual process are. i’m in awe of people’s stories about how joyous life is when they are attuned to the process. i’m in awe of our own capacity to self-regulate as humans. i am in awe of the history of human evolution and the minds that we have as a result. i am in awe of our minds and the power we have when we are not at war with ourselves. if you’ve talked to me irl, you probably know that i’ve been actively engaged with the spiritual process since i was eleven and that it’s the center of my life even though i don’t necessarily speak about all the time. my art, my curation, my writing, my everything comes from a commitment to this path. and endless wonder + curiosity + gratitude for what this path holds.
*all gif sources can be found on this beautiful are.na board: everything is technology
avèk tout kè m [with all my heart]
sienna
see you some sunday sometime soon